What to say
Some of us do not have a personal experience of bereavement. We may struggle to know what to say to someone who has been bereaved, or be concerned that we may say something inappropriate and add to someone’s distress.
Just finding simple words such as, “I’m sorry” is far more comforting than saying nothing.
It can also be comforting to:
Our Bereavement Kindness Toolkit has been developed to create awareness of how to help someone who has been bereaved. It shares essential tips which can help all of us become confident in supporting someone.
For more detailed information on how to support a work colleague who has been bereaved see the video below from Marie Curie.
What to do
The simplest practical tasks can seem overwhelming in the early days of grief. A simple offer of practical support may be really appreciated. Specific offers of help with shopping, hanging out washing, help with chores, bringing a dish that can be frozen if not used immediately, making a cake, dropping in for a chat, or making a phone call can all be helpful.
You might offer to meet up, perhaps go for a walk together and aim to keep in touch on a regular basis.
Grief can be exhausting so it’s good to encourage the person to look after themselves as well as they can. This might include encouraging them to rest and to sleep and to eat as well and as healthily as they can. Sharing information on following the 5 Ways to Wellbeing may be helpful.
The death of someone we love is never easy, but it can be even more challenging when someone in the family has dementia. It can be hard to know how and when to tell the person with dementia about the death of someone they love. This can become even harder when the person with dementia doesn’t hold onto the memory that a loved one has died. Suggestions include giving the news of a death as soon as possible, using short simple sentences.
When death and bereavement are hard to understand
For those with a learning disability or who are caring for someone with a learning disability, help to break bad news is available.
Extra support is also available for anyone who finds pictures easier to understand than words.
More specialist support is also available from your community nurse. Or ask your GP if a referral to the Community Learning Disability Specialist Health Services at The Ridge Hill Centre might be beneficial.
